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Why Lawyers Are So Good at Sex: Why You Should Date a Lawyer

published October 25, 2017

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( 911 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
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Summary: Lawyers can be good lovers too.
Why Lawyers Are So Good at Sex: Why You Should Date a Lawyer

When people think of lawyers, their minds don’t usually default to images of romance novel hunks and goddesses. In fact, many will say hunks and goddesses are the last things that come to mind.

What we instead have are crotchety worn out attorneys, pale and emaciated from being indoors for weeks on end, who, if they aren’t litigating their lungs out, sit nearly comatose behind their desks, reading this, writing that, re-reading this and rewriting that.

With this said, it’s time people realize there’s more to an attorney than simply being an attorney. Yes, attorneys work long, arduous and sometimes monotonous hours day through night. And while such effort is admirable, this isn’t quite the be all and end all of an attorney.

There are many facets to an attorney: they may have hobbies like collecting mechanical watches, model railroading or fixing up old cars. They can be writers and/or poets when not practicing. They can also be drunks, drug addicts, gamblers, or otherwise completely out of control mentally and emotionally.

Of course, all this is acceptable. We can believe attorneys would engage in these sorts of past times to wind down or to keep themselves wound up for work (as well as lascivious behavior), which in the end becomes a component in an overall culture that tends to attract stressed out and depressed individuals.

But even with the negative connotations that can accompany a lawyer and their practice of law, have you ever believed that at the same moment, an attorney can be a true Don Juan or Honey Ryder?

Well according to the Huffington Post, attorneys can, and to great potential benefit to their career. The following may explain why.
  1. Attorneys are frustrated.

Frustration makes up a good portion of an attorney’s daily life. Filing and briefing mistakes made before a trial commences, unsatisfied clients and overly-demanding partners can lead to an attorney literally pulling the hairs from their head.

Of course, when frustration mounts inside a person, it behooves that person to eliminate that stress in any way possible. Stress, we all know, can cause irreparable physical, mental and emotional damage. In short, if an attorney’s stress is not hastily addressed and dispatched, that frustration will continue to grow and mount to a point where an attorney risks death through a heart attack or some other ailment, such as drinking and drug use, and of course violence.

While many of us seem to not know how to manage, let alone alleviate our stresses, a good number of attorneys realize there are surefire ways to relieve their stress that might eventually put their lives in peril in the same manner that food, drink, drugs and bullets can.

One way attorneys find stress relief is through sex. Sex can be a wonderful event that eventually loosens up and/or mellows the most frustrated of us all. An added benefit of an attorney who is frustrated is that attorney more-than-likely has been frustrated for a very long time. And as we all know, the longer period of time that frustration has been inside a person, the more apt they are to be sexually competent and skillful.
  1. Practice makes perfect.

Staying on the theme of frustration, in the world of an attorney, frustration isn’t an instance of “here today, gone tomorrow.” Frustration is a long-term affliction that continually builds inside an attorney, particularly if they are assigned to a difficult case, have to deal with uncooperative clients, or serve inconsiderate partners.

And yes, while law and law firms may not promote the healthiest work environment, particularly long-term, a smart and self-aware attorney will realize that he or she will need a continual source of relief to thwart off their frustration.

As the term “practice makes perfect” implies, what a lawyer (an associate in particular) does each day when they go into their law firm is practice. They work within their legal specialty, sometimes while on pins and needles within the presence of their firm’s “betters.” While this may or may not be a continual occurrence in an associate’s career, other instances exist in which this same type of frustration becomes a daily manifestation.

That simply means the Monday through Friday frustration that builds up in an attorney makes it so that the attorney needs that much more sexual relief, which results in that attorney gaining increased sexual experience. In short, sex becomes the attorney’s other practice field, where with each interaction they increase their ability and as a consequence, become better at the sexual process, whatever that process might be between the attorney and his or her object of affection.
  1. Attorneys are sexually inventive.

While some attorneys may not agree that the practice of law can be a creative endeavor, other attorneys support a completely different attitude toward practicing law.

How rules and/or events are interpreted, as well as how those rules and/or events can be manipulated is part of the creative process that inventive attorneys engage in continually.

While their work may not compare to other types of creativity; many attorneys are not a Cheever, de Sade, or Rembrandt – all known for their insatiable sexual appetites as well as their creativity, a sexually inventive lawyer is no less rewarded for their own creativity toward positions, role play and the introduction of “evidence” during their sexual encounters.

The fact alone that a geeky, book-smart everyday associate knows doggy-style from downward dog is alone a bonus for the barrister.
  1. Attorneys tend to take risks.

Although many attorneys may not like to admit as much, out of necessity to win a case, attorneys will, when the chips are down, lean toward the risk-taking side of their law practice. This isn’t to say they’ll break or somehow compromise the law(s), this merely means attorneys tend to push the envelope, flirt with the ragged edge, tease and test the limits.

This type of characteristic in attorneys can be quite thrilling in an intimate setting. While potentially knowing your boundaries – even your demands that an attorney not cross those boundaries, you can at least depend on her or him to come dangerously, if not exhilaratingly close to those boundaries.

Needless to say, this can be a sensual experience for nearly anyone, as attorneys tend to know the buttons, and know even more intimately which buttons to push.
  1. Attorneys aim to please.

If there’s one strong argument within the Big Law world for an associate to become a partner, it’s because that partner knows how to satisfy the firm’s high-paying clients. They find out what the client wants, and through that, aim to please the client in the best way possible. They listen and then respond. A good associate also offers suggestions and can be, client willing, a bit experimental with their process toward a fulfilling conclusion.

This quality, without doubt, can be highly beneficial in the bed. There, an attorney will ask questions about what a lover likes, might like and might not like. Just as in the courtroom, in the bedroom, the entire journey, in the end, is about succeeding, though not just for the attorney, but for their object of affection as well.
  1. Attorneys like to dominate.

If domination doesn’t already exist at the very core of an attorney before he or she enters law school, domination is certainly engrained inside of that attorney once he or she is in law school. After graduation, more notions of domination are instilled in an attorney the minute they join a law firm, particularly a large and prestigious firm.

Let’s face it though: domination is great. To watch a dominant sporting event or tune in to a dominant debate, legal or otherwise, can erect an enormous amount of confidence – which in and of itself is sexy. Dominance and confidence have long been the staple of more relationships than many would like to admit.

No one wants to say of their attorney lover, “he dominated me,” or “I was confident with everything she was doing,” – no, domination and confidence have to be shown, understood and finally acquiesced to, just as it is in the courtroom.
  1. Attorneys are inquisitive and intellectual.

Most attorneys are intellectuals. They have to be an intellectual to endure the copious amounts of reading, writing and arguing that occurs in law school and now as an associate in a big law firm.

Of course, the exceedingly well-rounded associate will not only be an intellectual when it comes to their practice but inquisitive about what can be argued innovatively. For this type of associate, trying something new in the execution of a case is not unheard of.

Trying something new, needless to say, is always welcomed in an amorous atmosphere. Using imagination, as well as asking questions as to what does or does not please a lover, will always garner high marks for our associate. Intellectually, he or she already knows and understands your body, but inquisitively they are led to experimentation that, even if it doesn’t come out pleasurable, he or she should still be honored for their efforts.
  1. Good attorneys will talk with and listen to you before and most importantly, afterward.

The truly good attorney will not just know, but fully understand from a human standpoint, that being a lawyer isn’t only about conquering a case. An attorney’s profession should ultimately be about establishing and maintaining a relationship with their clients. Doing so will leave the client with a sense of trust and closeness that can benefit the attorney with future work and the client with a sense of relief that someone is on their side, looking out for their best interest. But this can only be done through communication.

A large part of sexual intimacy is the talking and listening that goes on afterward. This should come easily to the attorney if they feel they are engaging with you and vice versa. For many attorneys, communication is as important as breathing. It is how one person gets to know another person, while at the same time determines whether or not the person they’re with is worth a return trip.

And it may be with that – the talking and the listening – that we all reach a threshold that lays down the foundation for a true relationship that goes far beyond sex. Now, you and your attorney are not just screwing, you’re speaking and thinking together, which is the ultimate in intimacy.
  1. Attorneys are, for the most part, dedicated.

So now you two are an item. The attorney who was only a short time ago, a really good lay, has now become much closer than just a really good lay. They are a friend, a confidant, someone to be and stay with.

This comes fairly easy to a truly good attorney, be they an associate or a partner. While the notion of dedication comes from the same place as aggression, dominance, intellect, and innovation, dedication by far outweighs the four latter characteristics.

Sure, dedication can be taught. It can be enforced and demanded. But only in the most intimate of situations can dedication be felt. You’ll know so as that attorney who previously tossed you about and made you see stars, now wants only to lie beside you.

It’s a nice transition, to say the least, from a good romp to what is now a good relationship.

In conclusion

Can it be that in today’s Big Law world that sex is the great equalizer? And by equalizer, that is not to suggest something lascivious, nasty and demoralizing as is increasingly the case in modern business and law firm life. No, the great equalizer means that in equal measure sex, no matter the gender, race, social status or any other means of identification, is indiscriminate in its ability to release and cleanse a person’s overburdened mind, body, and soul. That when it comes down to sex, how well you do it, or how well you may not do it, the overall benefit is there for all to imbibe in.

As for attorneys, in an indirect way, they are built for sex. And their continued law practice only strengthens their ability to create their own atmosphere of desire, lust, want and finally confidence and understanding.

Good sex is hard to find. Great sex is even more difficult. But sex from a place of life experience, intimacy and dedication that is much larger than sex itself is absolute gold – gold, which you should try your best to hang on to.

See the following articles for more information:

published October 25, 2017

( 911 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
What do you think about this article? Rate it using the stars above and let us know what you think in the comments below.