"Working a room" is the ability to circulate comfortably and graciously through a gathering of people. People who are most successful at it are those who genuinely like people. There is nothing calculated or manipulative about it because the process is based on mutual interests. Remind yourself what has brought this particular group of people together and why it is important for you to be there.
Anxiety often allows people to talk themselves out of attending a worthwhile event. The fear of walking alone into a room filled with strangers is pervasive, cutting across boundaries of age, sex, and race, and socioeconomic level, professional and personal experience. But, do whatever it takes to silence those discouraging voices in your head and motivate yourself to go! Bring a friend; promise yourself a treat; buy a new outfit appropriate to the occasion that inspires confidence. Reassure yourself that once you are there, you will be fine. And, in the worst case scenario, if you are truly as miserable as those little voices told you would be, you can always leave.
Five Impediments to Working a Room
In order to successfully work a room you will have to overcome 5 major obstacles and be prepared to challenge some deeply ingrained societal beliefs you always considered to be non-negotiable.
- An aggressive approach to socializing is impolite.
- One should not talk to strangers.
- One needs to be properly introduced.
- At an ABA convention: "Hello, my name is Lisa Green. I am an intellectual property attorney from NYC."
- At a wedding: "Hello, my name is Lisa Green. I am a former college roommate of the bride."
- Fear of rejection.
- Discomfort with small talk.
Entering the Room
When you arrive at the event, quickly scan the room. Try and get a sense of the crowd. Note where the bar and food are located. See if anyone you know is already there. If so, go say hello. That is the quickest entree to meeting other people. If you do not recognize any familiar faces, try positioning yourself somewhere between the entry and the buffet table. This will enable a friend or colleague (also seeking the quickest entree to the group) to see you; it will also ensure that you will always be surrounded by people.
If nametags are available, they should be worn on your right hand side, making it easy to scan as you shake hands. "As your hand goes out, your name goes forward." Remember to write legibly (and largely) including all pertinent information that seems appropriate to the occasion.
Exit Lines
The objective of attending an event is to meet a number of people, so it is important to circulate. Your goal should be to spend about 8 to 10 minutes with each person. This can be accomplished either by "lapping" the room or by strategically positioning yourself in the flow of traffic.
- I am sure there are other people you need to talk to. I do not want to monopolize your time. It has been interesting speaking with you."
- "Excuse me, it was nice meeting you."
- "Excuse me, there is someone I need to say hello to." (Make sure you move to another part of the room.)
To join the next group, simply say:
- "Excuse me for interrupting, but I wanted to say hello."
Remember to be open to others who may want to join a group you are already a part of. If you are doing the introductions, remember to "introduce up." Bluntly put, that means introduce the person with the lesser title to the person with the higher title (associate to the partner, partner to judge, etc.)
Business cards are a must, whether you are employed or not, as you may want to facilitate the exchange of information with people you meet. Place your business cards in an easy to reach place. You may want to invest in an attractive card carrying case. Once you have established rapport and decided you are interested in exchanging cards, offer yours first.
People will surely return in kind.
Remember, simply collecting business cards is not effective: being a participant is! Demonstrate your capabilities by becoming involved. That gives prospective employers the opportunity to witness your abilities first hand.
Do not rush to network at every occasion. Feel out the situation and use your judgment. If all you talk about is needing a job, people will run when they see you. Your goal should be for people to have a pleasant, positive experience of you. You do not need to "close the deal" at this event; you simply need to create an opening to use at a later point in time.
Follow-up is the key. Write a letter within one week of the event, reminding your contact where you met and about the conversation you had regarding a particular subject. Restate your interest in the subject and ask for what you need-15 minutes of her time for advice and information.
Finally, remember that you are completely responsible for what you bring into a room and for what you project onto other people. Dress like the confident professional that you are. Be positive and upbeat. Project a proud, confident image. If you look and act like a loser, that is how people will respond to you.
