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Recent Graduates: Coping with the misconceptions of your friends and family

By Danielle D. Hansen, J.D.

This week, we examine how you can cope with friends and family members who don't quite understand what it means to be a recent law school graduate.

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If you've just graduated from law school, you know the familiar questions all too well. If you're currently a student, prepare yourself to hear these same questions. The words may vary slightly, but all in all, the topics remain the same:
  • So you're a lawyer now. You must be rich, right?
  • How come you're not in a courtroom today?
  • You are still looking for a job? Why don't you open up your own shop?
  • What the hell do you mean, you don't want to be an active attorney?
  • And (my personal favorite). Can I ask you a quick legal question?
Perhaps no other profession has as many misconceptions surrounding it as does the legal profession. Many of us formed strong friendships with our peers in law school; others have attorneys in our families. These people do not count for this article, because they know what we have gone through. Instead, we'll focus on all those people in our lives who have no clue about the rigors and demands of finding legal work. No clue whatsoever!

Let's start with the first and perhaps most misguided question:

You must be rich, right?
Since we were all children, we've heard that doctors and lawyers are supposed to be the wealthy ones. Movies and television shows rarely portray attorneys as anything other than high-priced, high-profile lawyers. With all this media perception working against the "true" nature of what we're going through, it's almost forgivable that our friends think we're rich the second we step out of law school. Forgivable, but annoying.

The legal field can indeed be lucrative, but most recent grads are years away from achieving those kinds of results. What our friends don't understand is that even if we were to land great jobs fresh out of law school, still the Specter of Student Loans hangs over us, requiring healthy chunks of whatever salary we're fortunate to earn. And unfortunately this may last for years to come.

How come you're not in a courtroom today?
Another question from those who don't know the vast variety of jobs in the legal world or watch too much TV. Again, it's the media who rarely shows attorneys anywhere except for in courtrooms, slugging it out with adversaries and saying, "I object" all the time. Our friends don't realize that many attorneys will never set foot in a courtroom. We deal with contracts, discovery, settlements, and many other things that keep our clients from ever having to go to court.

You are still looking for a job? Why don't you open up your own shop?
True, there are many job openings, but there are also many more lawyers than there are openings. It's an extremely competitive field. Yes, lawyers will always be in demand, but for many of us, perseverance in looking for a job will be required. And as for the second question here, that one never ceases to amaze me. It's like our friends think it's the 19th Century where we can simply buy a building and hang up a plaque with "Attorney at Law" after our names. Clients will come out of the woodwork with open purses, eager to hire us and quickly make us rich. It always comes back to lawyers being rich, doesn't it?

What the hell do you mean, you don't want to be an active attorney? Why did you go to law school then?
Here at LawCrossing, we've often explored alternative careers and how your J.D. will be helpful to you in other endeavors, but that is something that many people just don't understand. In many ways, I see their point. Just the fact that you went to law school implies that you want to become an attorney. But they don't realize that things change during those three long years. There are so many interesting career options available to you in which your J.D. will prove useful, but the people closest to us sometimes don't want to hear any of that.

Can I ask you a quick legal question?
It's utterly amazing how many family members and friends expect free legal advice for life. Furthermore, they want their answers immediately and don't understand why research is required if we choose to help them at all. I imagine it's like being a mechanic and having your friends call you the moment their car acts up. It's great to help someone, but we all want the freedom to choose our pro bono cases at will, rather than having them thrust upon us by a distant uncle angry with his neighbor's dog barking all the time or by an aunt who needs her lease reviewed. That "quick" legal question is never quick, but no one seems to realize that. And even if it is quick, it's still an imposition. You can really judge people at times like these by seeing if they offer you compensation. We may not accept their money, but still, it's a great sign when they offer.

What to do.
In dealing with these misconceptions, the main thing to hold onto is your patience. People may be a bit ignorant about what you're going through, but rarely do they mean anything maliciously. Try to explain your situation. Point out that thousands of law school grads have made the exact same decisions you have. You're not the only one in the world who chose this path.

If all that fails, then tell them that you've only been fooling with them: you've secretly opened your own practice and have a big trial downtown tomorrow. Oh, and you're wealthy beyond their dreams. After all you're an attorney, and, with some hard work and maybe a little luck, it could all be true someday.

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