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Overcomng Inhibitions Preventing Friends From Helping in Our Job Search

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published January 19, 2013

By CEO and Founder - BCG Attorney Search left

One reason why job seekers may be reluctant to ask friends or acquaintances for assistance is the feeling that the other person can't help and that asking would do no good. The following statements typify this attitude:
 
  • "I can't ask him about job leads. He already knows I'm looking for work."
  • "He doesn't know anything."
  • "She can't even find a job herself."
  • "He's been looking for a job for three months himself and barely found one."
  • "What would she know about my type of job?"
  • "I know she doesn't have any opening where she works. They haven't been hiring."
  • "If there was an opening, she would have told me."

Another reason for hesitation is that job seekers often are unwilling to tell people that they are looking for a job. They may feel any or all of the following:
 
  • "I feel ashamed to be out of work."
  • "I don't want everybody to know I'm having trouble finding a job."
  • "People who are working feel uncomfortable when you tell them you can't find a job."
  • "How do I suddenly tell someone I'm out of work?"

A third source of hesitation has to do with the position or relationship of the person whom you're asking for help. For example:
 
  • “I know he has no jobs. He can't hire me."
  • "I don't want to work for my father. I won't ask him."
  • "He can't get me hired in his place. He doesn't have the authority."
  • "She couldn't find me a job because she is just a secretary."

A fourth type of hesitation comes from the fear that people will be embarrassed to be asked for help. This attitude may be reflected by such statements as:
 
  • "I hate to ask for a favor."
  • "I don't want to impose on my friendship with him."
  • "I don't want to put her on the spot."

This hesitation keeps job seekers from asking as many people for help as they could. Therefore, in order to make good use of all friends and acquaintances, these attitudes must be changed. There are ways to ask that will let you feel comfortable and will make those you ask feel eager to help.

How to ask a friend for help

When you ask someone to help you find a job, be sure to provide four types of information.
 
  • Tell the person that you are looking for a job, and why.
  • Say why that person is in a special position to help you.
  • Describe your skills briefly.
  • Tell that person what kind of help you need.

Bear in mind that each of these items of information is essential; if any one of them is excluded from your request, the person won't be able to help or will feel uncomfortable.

It doesn't really matter what order you say them in—just be sure to include them all. One statement that includes all four types of information might be, "I'm looking for a job now that I'm out of school. I've had lots of experience in hospital work and doctors' offices as a medical technician. You probably know lots of places like that because of your line of work. Can you think of some places that I might try?" In this example, you have told the person that you are looking for work, why you are looking for work, what kind of job you want, why you have asked him or her, and what specific kind of help he or she can give.
United States

Tell a person you are looking for a job

Telling people that you are looking for a job becomes much easier if you also tell them (briefly) why you are looking. As you read the following examples, think about which type of statement applies to you, which you might comfortably say.
 
  • "I'll be graduating from school so I'm looking around for a job now."
  • "I've been out of work for a while but now I've decided to really start looking for a job."
  • "I have a job, but I'm not too happy with it so I'm looking for a different job."
  • "My company had a big cutback and I was laid off so I'm looking for a job."
  • "My kids are all in school now so I'm looking for a job."
  • "My job involves too much travel so I'm looking for another job."
  • "I quit my last job because I wasn't getting anywhere as a shipping clerk in that company, so I'm looking for a job."
  • "I just got out of the army so now I'm looking for a job."
  • "I needed a break from working but now I'm looking for a job."
  • "My husband's salary isn't enough now that the kids are older so I'm looking for a job."
  • "My summer job is over so now I'm looking for a job."
  • "I just moved to this city and am looking for a job."

Practice saying this statement silently or even aloud to see how natural it sounds. If it doesn't feel natural, change it until it does.

Tell the person why you are asking him for a job and not others

When you ask people for help, tell why you are asking them in particular, pointing out what is special about them. This lets them know that they are special, which encourages them to live up to your opinion and to help you. Otherwise, they may feel, "Why ask me? I don't know anything."

Here are examples of statements that apply to different people who can help. As you read each statement, imagine yourself making that type of statement to a particular person you know.
 
  • To a Native of the City: "You've lived in this city a long time and know almost everybody."
  • To a Very Socially Active Friend: "You have so many friends, you probably hear about things before anyone."
  • To Someone Who Works in Tour Field: "You've been working in the same type of job I'm looking for, so you probably know about what is happening."
  • To a Relative: "I know you'd try to help a relative." D To a Parent: "You've helped me with everything else I've ever done, so …
  • To a Classmate: "You've probably done lots of thinking and have good ideas about jobs after graduation, so "
  • To a Landlord: "You have treated me so well and know lots of people, so...."
  • To a Salesperson or Clerk: "You meet lots of people and hear about what is going on, so "
  • To a Professor or Teacher: "You know better than anyone what kinds of jobs are open in this field, so "
  • To a Friend who Works in a Place You'd Like to Work: "You know me pretty well and I'd like a job in your company. I bet you know someone there you could tell about me."
  • To Someone Who Just Got a Job: "You probably heard about lots of jobs that might be opening up."
  • To Someone Who is Looking for a Job: "You've probably heard of lots of jobs that you weren't interested in but that might be okay for me."
  • To Someone You've Worked with Before: "You know what kind of worker I am, so you know better than anyone what kind of jobs I'd be interested in."
  • To a Fellow Club Member: "You know me pretty well and how I get along with people, so "
  • To Anyone You Admire: "You always seem to have good ideas."
  • To Someone Who Has Done You a Favor: "You've helped me before when I needed it so I'm hoping you can help me now."
  • To Someone You Have Helped: "We've helped each earlier in the past so I'm hoping you can help now."

Every person you ask has something special you can mention that will make that person interested in helping you.

About Harrison Barnes

No legal recruiter in the United States has placed more attorneys at top law firms across every practice area than Harrison Barnes. His unmatched expertise, industry connections, and proven placement strategies have made him the most influential legal career advisor for attorneys seeking success in Big Law, elite boutiques, mid-sized firms, small firms, firms in the largest and smallest markets, and in over 350 separate practice areas.

A Reach Unlike Any Other Legal Recruiter

Most legal recruiters focus only on placing attorneys in large markets or specific practice areas, but Harrison places attorneys at all levels, in all practice areas, and in all locations—from the most prestigious firms in New York, Los Angeles, and Washington, D.C., to small and mid-sized firms in rural markets. Every week, he successfully places attorneys not only in high-demand practice areas like corporate and litigation but also in niche and less commonly recruited areas such as:

  • Immigration law
  • Workers’ compensation
  • Insurance defense
  • Family law
  • Trusts & estates
  • Municipal law
  • And many more...

This breadth of placements is unheard of in the legal recruiting industry and is a testament to his extraordinary ability to connect attorneys with the right firms, regardless of market size or practice area.

Proven Success at All Levels

With over 25 years of experience, Harrison has successfully placed attorneys at over 1,000 law firms, including:

  • Top Am Law 100 firms such including Sullivan and Cromwell, and almost every AmLaw 100 and AmLaw 200 law firm.
  • Elite boutique firms with specialized practices
  • Mid-sized firms looking to expand their practice areas
  • Growing firms in small and rural markets

He has also placed hundreds of law firm partners and has worked on firm and practice area mergers, helping law firms strategically grow their teams.

Unmatched Commitment to Attorney Success – The Story of BCG Attorney Search

Harrison Barnes is not just the most effective legal recruiter in the country, he is also the founder of BCG Attorney Search, a recruiting powerhouse that has helped thousands of attorneys transform their careers. His vision for BCG goes beyond just job placement; it is built on a mission to provide attorneys with opportunities they would never have access to otherwise. Unlike traditional recruiting firms, BCG Attorney Search operates as a career partner, not just a placement service. The firm’s unparalleled resources, including a team of over 150 employees, enable it to offer customized job searches, direct outreach to firms, and market intelligence that no other legal recruiting service provides. Attorneys working with Harrison and BCG gain access to hidden opportunities, real-time insights on firm hiring trends, and guidance from a team that truly understands the legal market. You can read more about how BCG Attorney Search revolutionizes legal recruiting here: The Story of BCG Attorney Search and What We Do for You.

The Most Trusted Career Advisor for Attorneys

Harrison’s legal career insights are the most widely followed in the profession.

Submit Your Resume to Work with Harrison Barnes

If you are serious about advancing your legal career and want access to the most sought-after law firm opportunities, Harrison Barnes is the most powerful recruiter to have on your side.

Submit your resume today to start working with him: Submit Resume Here.

With an unmatched track record of success, a vast team of over 150 dedicated employees, and a reach into every market and practice area, Harrison Barnes is the recruiter who makes career transformations happen and has the talent and resources behind him to make this happen.

A Relentless Commitment to Attorney Success

Unlike most recruiters who work with only a narrow subset of attorneys, Harrison Barnes works with lawyers at all stages of their careers, from junior associates to senior partners, in every practice area imaginable. His placements are not limited to only those with "elite" credentials—he has helped thousands of attorneys, including those who thought it was impossible to move firms, find their next great opportunity.

Harrison’s work is backed by a team of over 150 professionals who work around the clock to uncover hidden job opportunities at law firms across the country. His team:

  • Finds and creates job openings that aren’t publicly listed, giving attorneys access to exclusive opportunities.
  • Works closely with candidates to ensure their resumes and applications stand out.
  • Provides ongoing guidance and career coaching to help attorneys navigate interviews, negotiations, and transitions successfully.

This level of dedicated support is unmatched in the legal recruiting industry.

A Legal Recruiter Who Changes Lives

Harrison believes that every attorney—no matter their background, law school, or previous experience—has the potential to find success in the right law firm environment. Many attorneys come to him feeling stuck in their careers, underpaid, or unsure of their next steps. Through his unique ability to identify the right opportunities, he helps attorneys transform their careers in ways they never thought possible.

He has worked with:

  • Attorneys making below-market salaries who went on to double or triple their earnings at new firms.
  • Senior attorneys who believed they were “too experienced” to make a move and found better roles with firms eager for their expertise.
  • Attorneys in small or remote markets who assumed they had no options—only to be placed at strong firms they never knew existed.
  • Partners looking for a better platform or more autonomy who successfully transitioned to firms where they could grow their practice.

For attorneys who think their options are limited, Harrison Barnes has proven time and time again that opportunities exist—often in places they never expected.

Submit Your Resume Today – Start Your Career Transformation

If you want to explore new career opportunities, Harrison Barnes and BCG Attorney Search are your best resources. Whether you are looking for a BigLaw position, a boutique firm, or a move to a better work environment, Harrison’s expertise will help you take control of your future.

? Submit Your Resume Here to get started with Harrison Barnes today.

Alternative Summary

Harrison is the founder of BCG Attorney Search and several companies in the legal employment space that collectively gets thousands of attorneys jobs each year. Harrison’s writings about attorney careers and placement attract millions of reads each year. Harrison is widely considered the most successful recruiter in the United States and personally places multiple attorneys most weeks. His articles on legal search and placement are read by attorneys, law students and others millions of times per year.

More about Harrison

About LawCrossing

LawCrossing has received tens of thousands of attorneys jobs and has been the leading legal job board in the United States for almost two decades. LawCrossing helps attorneys dramatically improve their careers by locating every legal job opening in the market. Unlike other job sites, LawCrossing consolidates every job in the legal market and posts jobs regardless of whether or not an employer is paying. LawCrossing takes your legal career seriously and understands the legal profession. For more information, please visit www.LawCrossing.com.
Gain an advantage in your legal job search. LawCrossing uncovers hidden positions that firms post on their own websites and industry-specific job boards—jobs that never appear on Indeed or LinkedIn. Don't miss out. Sign up now!

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