JD Jungle In Slander, you slam the media as blatantly liberal. In general, how would you characterize lawyers?
Ann Coulter On the upside, lawyers tend to be bright people. I notice that when I give speeches, for example, or go to National Rifle Association events. They tend to be-much more than many journalists I've encountered-sticklers for detail and accuracy, and they have a logical way of arguing. The downside is the criminal defense bar, which is indistinguishable from liberals on TV, from Muslims on TV, from Bill Clinton on TV. It's a profession of liars. They're lying, you know they're lying, and they know you know. They love defending the indefensible-they moved from Ted Bundy to O.J. Simpson to Bill Clinton.
JD You started your law career at Cahill Gordon & Reindel. Did you like Big Law?
AC I felt like I was losing a point of my IQ for every day I worked in a law firm. The document productions, the tedious work ... I don't mind working hard, but you're basically doing what you did in law school-you research and write up memos and maybe a tiny little motion. I couldn't see myself slaving away like that on weekends and evenings for nine years to see if I was going to make partner. So after two years, I went to a small law firm, Kronish Lieb Weiner & Hellman, where I got a sense of how to handle my own cases. That was the first time I really felt like a lawyer. But then I found my vocation of hectoring liberals and engaging in streams of invective.
JD Speaking of that, a lot of lawyers would like to become New York Times best-selling authors. What's the secret? AC I think one thing is not seeking it out just for the sake of it. I never sought to be a pundit, or on TV, or a writer-it just kind of came to me. If you just keep doing what you want to do, you wind up doing precisely what you want to be doing. Don't resist how life bats you around. In my particular case, it's aggressively attacking totalitarians; that's what people want to hear. And conservative books are very popular. But there's no formula, and you have to know something about what you're talking about. I never talk about issues I don't know anything about.
AC That's not something I think about except when I'm deflecting criticism. Some people say I'm really ugly and anorexic; some say the only reason I'm on TV is because I'm pretty. I say to them: Get your slander straight. You are what you are, whether you're small or skinny or smart or dumb. Just do what you do.
JD Do you stand by the comments you made about killing muslims after September 11? does the First Amendment give you the right to call for the murder of other people?
AC Not murder-we're not talking about murder. We're at war. Points one and two became official government policy within days of 9/11. By the following week, we were going after Osama "dead or alive." And yes, I can say what I want because of the First Amendment. You're not really asking me if that's what gives me the right to say this, are you? I can say whatever I want to say.
JD Let's talk about some specific lawyers. What do you think of John Ashcroft?
AC I think he's fabulous. If anything, he hasn't been aggressive enough in rounding up potential terrorists.
AC Reagan's biggest mistake. Poor old Ronnie did pledge when he was running for office to put a woman on the Supreme Court, but she is just so terrible in so many ways. I'm sure she's a lovely woman, but to put it diplomatically, she's more of a legislator than a judge. Her opinions always have four-point balancing tests with 17 prongs.
JD Anita Hill?
AC The majority of Americans believed Clarence Thomas and not Anita Hill after the hearings, and I agree with them and with the United States Senate, which confirmed him.
JD Do you have a favorite lawyer?
AC Scalia. He's mean, funny, and brilliant. You know, there's a Web page dedicated to his dissents. That's when he's at his best. I know this sounds goofy, but after some of his dissents, my friends and I would bring them out at dinner and read portions aloud. I'd memorize certain parts.
JD Who's your least favorite lawyer?
AC How long is your tape? I suppose for his interminable, turgid, unreadable opinions, Justice David Souter. I mean, he's like O'Connor but 100 times worse. It takes you three hours just to read through the West notes to his opinion, and you still can't figure out what he said. This idea that he is, as a New York Times article billed him, the new intellectual leader on the Court, just because he votes to uphold Roe v. Wade. Come on! Oh, and you can add to most hated, "and every known criminal defense lawyer."
JD Could you ever see yourself as a Supreme Court justice?
AC Only as Scalia.
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