March 8 2007 LawCrossing Weekend

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I did some investigating—or, rather, my assistant did—and uncovered a company called Underwater Vehicles, Inc. Fortunately, they are open seven days a week, since I do all of my big spending on weekends. Plus, their customer-service staff is available to explain things to me like submarine operations, ROV support, and vessel chartering—which is really good because I don't know anything about any of that.

The company is located in Vancouver, British Columbia. I love it when I get to go out of town to spend money. And with all the ripping and running I've been doing lately, I must have enough frequent-flyer miles to take this trip for free. Hey, I might even have enough to bring my BFF. That way, I won't have to do any driving.

I've got my eye on a model they call the Trilobis 65, which is a $5 million semi-submerg...well, it's not exactly a house, but you can live in it. The name refers to the trilobiti, little creatures that lived in the sea 500 million years ago. This "submersible" was designed by Giancarlo Zema, can hold as many as six people, and is 20 meters long. There are even four separate levels in this thing, and they are connected by a spiral staircase—too cool!

I think the initial idea was to give people a way to live in bays and maritime parks in self-sufficient, non-polluting dwellings that allow them to feel at one with their ocean surroundings. The top level sits 3.5 meters above sea level, and the next level sits 1.4 meters above sea level; in these areas, daylight comes through the windows and you have some outdoor access.

Below sea level, there is a third section that rests at 0.8 meters below sea level. It is semi-submerged, and the brochure says it is devoted to the nighttime zone. I have no idea what that means!

At 3.0 meters below sea level, the fourth level is totally submerged and houses an underwater observation bulb. It would be a good place to meditate, if I did that kind of stuff.

Underwater Vehicles does custom work, too. If I like mine, maybe I'll give them out for Christmas. Oh, and they offer financing—how quaint!

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