Last week, as all intelligent fools should know, was April Fools' Day. I spent a few hours trying to find a good April Fools' Day prank to reference in this column, but came up empty-handed. The best online prank I discovered was a press release that said Kate Beckinsale was being considered to play the lead in the forthcoming Wonder Woman film—but she really wasn't! It was just a brilliantly crafted hoax! I found a story I suspected to be a hoax, but it was revealed to be fact. Overlawyered reported the launch of the Animal Copyright Foundation, an organization that collects royalties due to animal species when animals appear in advertisements. So Bull Terriers would get a nickel every time Spuds MacKenzie came on TV. No word yet on any pending lawsuits from the animal kingdom.
My favorite blogable news item of last week concerns the always photogenic U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia. In what has been deemed Italianhandgesturegate on some law blogs, Scalia gave a reporter from the Boston Herald the old "whatsamatta you" fingers-under-the-chin gesture. This gesture is allegedly obscene in some circles. When I first heard about the story, I thought Scalia was involved in an obesity scandal. The media fallout from this hand gesture has fallen somewhere between the kidnapping of the Lindburgh baby and the death of Don Knotts on the Media Circus Scale, but the really fun coverage of the event has been on the blogosphere.
Reactions have been as varied as public opinion on the controversial jurist himself. After the Boston Herald broke the news, Scalia fired off a mildly scathing letter, defending his hand gesture and chastising the reporter for claiming the gesture was obscene. Ann Althouse of the Althouse blog sees the gesture, obscene or not, as a totally rude way to brush off a reporter, despite Scalia's claim that it was just a "jocular" response. David Giacalone of f/k/a… feels Scalia behaved as a tasteless goombah. He goes on to reveal that the gesture could be interpreted as at least as offensive as the middle finger. My grandmother used to say that G-d wouldn't have given us middle fingers if He didn't intend for us to use them.
The best comment of the week concerning Scalia comes from Evan Schaeffer's Legal Underground, where Schaeffer proposes that Scalia should get his own reality show. He could give Anna Nicole Smith a run for her (or the family of her dead husband's) money. I don't have a problem with the hand gesture, but rather with Scalia's supplemental letter of astonishment at the gesture's being taken as obscene. Why give somebody the business if you don't even have the cojones to ruffle a few feathers?
Another truly awesome news item culled from the blogosphere involves a new matter of public policy in jolly old London. Police have been told to let petty criminals off with a warning. The controversy stems from exactly what can be considered petty. According to the bobbies, quite a bit, actually. Burglary, assault, harassment, heroin and cocaine possession, grand theft auto, and even sex with a minor could be first offenses punishable by only a stern warning. No court date. No jail time. Conservatives are up in arms. Eugene Volokh of the esteemed Volokh Conspiracy sees the move as a gateway to an increased crime rate. I see it as a benefit. Now I know there is a place I can go where, in a pinch, I can get busted in a stolen car with a bunch of cocaine and I won't wind up behind bars.
Of course, in the States, we are moving in the opposite direction, with stiffer penalties for everything, unless you're the President. Jack M. Balkin's Balkinization blog offered an informative post about the application of the death penalty. Balkin points to studies that show juries are confused when dealing with the death penalty. Many jurors are unaware that life imprisonment without parole is an alternative punishment. Some even think the death penalty is mandatory. A related post from Norm Pattis on the Crime & Federalism blog involves what The Yale Law Journal calls the "CSI effect" on jurors. According to the CSI theory, jurors familiar with the abundance of forensic cop TV shows are overestimating the gravity of scientific evidence in criminal trials. Even poorly presented scientific evidence allegedly weighs heavily on the minds of jurors, resulting in increased prosecutions. Why the CSI effect would be a benefit to prosecutors and not defense attorneys remains unclear to me, though the phenomenon is fascinating.
As the news coming out of Judged reveals, the associate salary wars show no sign of slowing down. Big firms continue to raise entry-level salaries in order to outdo each other, and the bidding battle has become self-perpetuating. Bruce MacEwen of Adam Smith, Esq. posted an interesting analysis on the frenzy in reference to an Op-Ed piece from the Wall Street Journal. He argues that while everybody would like a little more money, associates will pay a heavy price for their new salaries. Along with pay, billable hour requirements will also rise. More money will mean much less free time for attorneys at big law firms. MacEwen says not to look for the salary wars to end anytime soon either. Professor Stephen Bainbridge of the blog ProfessorBainbridge argues that while revenues are going up at big law firms, the associate-salary raises are being shouldered exclusively by the associates with their growing billable hour requirements.
Stay tuned for next week's update. Until then, keep it sloppy!
Jeff is a writer from Los Angeles, CA. Currently, he is the moderator of the message boards at Judged.com, the largest insider source of law firm information.
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