Where Are They Now?: Kato Kaelin

Kaelin talks about what he's been up to after the O.J. trial.

Kato? Of course. Who else could be the subject of JD Jungle's inaugural "Where Are They Now?" column. The guy's the very apotheosis of an odd late-twentieth/early-twenty-first-century phenomenon-the bit player in a megahyped legal action who gets his fifteen minutes of fame (hell, maybe the whole phenomenon should be called "a Kato"). We caught up with the too-blond, too-tanned, bump-in-the-night-hearing 42-year-old Los Angeleno to see what he's up to now, to hear his thoughts on the you-know-who case and to solicit his opinions about American jurisprudence. We know: You think he's a complete-how do we put this?-idiot. Well, listen up.

Q: Okay, what have you been doing since the O.J. trial?
A: I had a morning radio show in L.A. and I've had a bunch of acting gigs, on shows like Roseanne and in the movie BASEketball. I just completed two years on Showtime's Beggars and Choosers and I just wrapped up work on the new Pauly Shore film You'll Never Wiez in This Town Again. I play the bald owner of a Motel 6. It's a pretty funny part.

The O.J. case wasn't your last brush with the legal system.
No. I sued a tabloid for things it wrote about me during the Simpson case. We settled last year. I can't say anything else, but I did just buy a condo.

What have you learned about the law?
A lot. I've been in court so many times over the past six years that when I go to the supermarket now, I buy everything in trial sizes. But seriously, I've also spent a lot of time talking to law school classes about the law and the media. I tell students all the time that they should be witnesses at a high-profile trial-it changes your view of the system.

Does the system work?
I think it does, but it didn't in the Simpson case because of the way it was handled in the media. The lawyers were smart and showboated for the cameras. It proved that even when a jury is sequestered, the media will influence them.

Was Judge Ito fair?
I thought he was. But again, his biggest mistake was that he loved the attention too much and saw the trial as a Hollywood event. Bringing in tapes of the Dancing Itos from The Tonight Show to show the lawyers-that wasn't right.

In what other ways did the Simpson case affect you?
It sounds crazy, but to this day, all the focus on "time line" makes me obsess about knowing at precisely what time I'm doing whatever it is I'm doing. Because who knows if I'm going to be asked somewhere down the line to retrace my steps? Time became a nightmare for me. I'd drop my girlfriend off at her house and we'd have to synchronize our watches and agree that it was eight o'clock.

Which lawyer in the O.J. case impressed you most?
I think Barry Scheck came across the best. He was highly intelligent, a great communicator and he didn't showboat. He came off as very solid, very matter-of-fact.

What were you doing in the audience of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire last year?
I was there in the companion seat to support my close friend Norm Macdonald [a contestant in a celebrity episode]. It's amazing how many people saw that show. I just got back from a weekend in Vegas with Norm and people were coming up to us and saying, "I saw you on Millionaire." And Norm was like, "Wait a minute-I do have a weekly sitcom, you know!"

Which famous trial since O.J.'s have you followed most closely?
I watched a lot of the Rae Carruth trial on Court TV. The lesson feels pretty familiar-how high-paid athletes can't handle the instant fame and cash and begin to think they're invincible. If it doesn't already, the NFL really should have an anger-management program.