How to Become a Mediator in New Jersey

The truth is that few people these days care who was at fault for sparking the feelings of needing to get a divorce. What people really fight over are assets, property, child custody, visitation rights, and alimony payments. These issues can all ignite hostility and prolong divorce proceedings that may even linger for years. And the lawyer for each side makes a lot of money, too, if it comes down to that. The longer a divorce proceeding lasts, the more billable hours a lawyer has to bill a client for. All of that money that needs to be paid out just adds to the anguish and frustration of someone who has had to go through the often horrendous ordeal of getting out of a marriage while protecting their children and watching out for their assets. And in New Jersey, parents are legally responsible for their children until those children come of age. This is usually defined as turning 18 and graduating (or having dropped out of) high school, or until the child has achieved a bachelor's degree from college if the child goes to college immediately out of high school and stays in college on a steady basis until the degree program is completed. Again, all of these expenses can really add up.

But it's possible to be someone who helps people involved in divorce or who otherwise need a lawyer to save a lot of money on legal fees. You can do this if you become a New Jersey state mediator. Mediators help people settle legal disputes objectively, quickly, and largely without court proceedings.

To become a New Jersey mediator, start by reading up on Court Rule 1:140-12. This is the New Jersey statute that lays down the state rules and guidelines, as well as the educational and training prerequisites, for people who want to become official mediators in the that state. It matters in that state whether you wish to be a mediator in civil, municipal, or family court matters. You will have certain training requirements based on what you want to do. Each different mediation position has minimum education requirements, too.

Assuming you have the minimum educational requirements and could get the training you need, the next question is whether or not you would make a good mediator. Do you think you would? Do you feel confident that you are good at listening to both sides of an argument, even passionate argument and offering sound advice based upon the best way of getting both sides as much of what they want as possible while checking your personal feelings at the door? If you think this sounds like you, then mediation could be in your future.

If you feel that you have the talent, enroll in some classes or seminars that teach conflict resolution. Through this training you'll familiarize yourself with what it means from an ethical standpoint to be a mediator. You will also learn of the strategies that you can use to get into angry, bitter, frightened people's heads to get them to see things rationally.

In New Jersey, there are a number of mediation groups that you can get involved with. Once you meet their requirements for membership, you can start being promoted as a professional mediator by them and building a reputation for yourself. While you are in these groups, you can enroll in seminars or classes on the laws regarding your field of mediation. You can also teach yourself by getting hold of books and websites.

As a mediator you will have to watch what you say to your clients. A mediator isn't as protected by confidentiality laws as a lawyer is. But you can save divorce and other clients lots of money if you do your job right.