- Feature
A Wife's Promise, a Mother's Determination
by Mahsa Khalilifar
by Mahsa Khalilifar
Esliker-Kabia would take the LSATs in 2002, almost two years before her husband, her biggest supporter, became ill. "I kept asking myself the questions," Esliker-Kabia says about going back to school. "I told him [I was] ready to take a chance. He knows I'm extreme. I'm either one way or another." He knew her very well, and eventually his spirit rubbed off on his wife. 13 years ago, she graduated from Bernard M. Baruch College with an accounting degree, but she never knew she would need to or would even want to continue her education. "I honestly never thought I would go to law school. I didn't have the patience to even sit in the library," she admits. "It was his idea; it was his dream." Esliker-Kabia met her husband Abdul Hamid Kabia through an encounter in New York during a family gathering. Kabia was an immigrant from Sierra Leone, as was Esliker-Kabia, who received a visa to come to America. They both fell in love, and Kabia eventually brought his wife into the United Nations, where he was working. Kabia worked for the political side, while Esliker-Kabia worked first for the finance section then as a logistics assistant for the U.N. After years of marriage, Esliker-Kabia decided she wanted to do more for her children and her husband. After her husband's constant encouragement, Esliker-Kabia finally gave in, and in 2002, she took two months leave from the U.N. to study for the LSATs. Not doing so well on the exam, she decided to go through the AAMPLE program, also known as the Alternative Admission Model Program for Legal Education, which you can take if you have gone through the LSATs. "I don't know what he saw in me that I didn't see in myself," she says of her husband's support. The program made Esliker-Kabia see how strong she could be.
However at the time, Esliker-Kabia wasn't ready to make the change to student life quite yet. "I wasn't mentally prepared to leave my job," she says of her choice on waiting to make the transition from the U.N. to law student. Due to the whole situation being so short of notice, she declined the law school's invitation in 2002 by opting for a deferral, but in 2003, she was ready for it. Or so she thought. In April 2003, Esliker-Kabia received devastating news. Her husband was diagnosed with stomach cancer. "I was under tremendous pressure, and I was pregnant with my son," Esliker-Kabia says, who was already a mother of three. She asked her family lawyer to write to the school and request them to allow her another year of deferral. They allowed her to do so. In September 2003, Kabia passed away. Some of his final words were his asking his wife to promise him that she would continue with her law career path. "Annette, promise me you will go through law school. If you don't do it for me, do it for you," Kabia told his wife. At that was point, Esliker-Kabia says it became a "matter of choice, not a matter of necessity." "[I told him] whatever it takes, I will give it my best shot," she recalls. Esliker-Kabia resigned from the U.N., thanking them for their sympathy but said that her mind and soul was not at the organization anymore. "It was difficult for me; it was like a long bad dream … it was a nightmare," Esliker-Kabia explains. "He used to travel a lot, but we used to communicate through emails and phone calls. Now [I] don't get any of those ... it's like real life." She stayed in New York for that year to help the kids make it through. She also had to raise her newborn son, Abdul with little help. Her father came down and assisted her around the house and with the kids. Shortly after she decided on Florida for law school, she had her belongings shipped out to the state, without knowing anyone in the state. Six months after starting at NOVA, she said that all she "wanted [was] to fulfill that promise." The one she gave to her dying husband. None of it came easy, though. "When I started law school, I was completely blank," Esliker-Kabia says. "I would ready the whole day, but I was lost in the sense with my thoughts. Everything [made me feel] like a zombie." During her first semester's tort exam, Esliker-Kabia admits that she completely blanked, receiving her only "D" from the law school. "Initially everything was too much — emotional issues, dealing with the kids; it was too much," she says. "I walked out of class [thinking] 'you know what, I can't take this anymore.'" Luckily, before she decided to make a rash decision and drop out, a schoolmate of Esliker-Kabia encouraged her to keep fighting through it. "The following semester, I started [not only] reading, but ... understanding what I was reading," she adds. Even though students were asked to turn phones off in class, Esliker-Kabia always left her cell phone on vibrate in case her children needed her. She would also stay up and read in the middle of the night when her kids were asleep. When a professor told her that she should take off and re-enter law school at a later time, Esliker-Kabia declined. She told the professor that she needed to do it and that she wouldn't leave. She said that if it wasn't meant to be then it wasn't. "Law school is very brutal," she admits. "Three and a half years went by so fast. They don't care [at the school] what you're going through; it's about discipline." The years did go by, and now Esliker-Kabia has received her law degree. "Without God, I don't know how I managed it. Without Him, I couldn't have done this," she confesses, saying that she called on her husband's spiritual help and support as well. In addition, she couldn't have done it without her kids. "It strengthened our bond; we talk about everything. I owe them a big thank you." Esliker-Kabia, who now has four children ranging from four to 17 years of age, says that even her oldest daughter would help with the research and with the kids. She boasts that her children have been able to keep up their GPAs and overall academics. "If you have faith in yourself, you can transform disappointment," she says of others that may be going through a difficult time. "You can't give up on your life; you will be miserable. I took my misfortune and transformed it into something greater. Find your own identity." Walking on stage with her kids at the NOVA graduation was a highlight for Esliker-Kabia, who rarely saw this day before it became a reality. It wasn't easy, and it was quite a challenge," she says. "You can't run away from your problems, [though]. You have to believe in yourself, and make it possible for yourself." Now with a degree, Esliker-Kabia is hoping for a higher level of respect at any job that she takes. Her number one priority is to go back to the U.N., but for now, she is keeping her options open. She is going to take the bar exam soon, and then make a decision. "I would love to see myself in court too. I would love to see that side of me," she says with a chuckle. She says that family law, immigration, and real estate are all topics of interest. "[A law degree] opens a lot of doors to you," she says to students looking into law. "As long as you are determined to pull through it, you will pull through it. It takes a lot of devotion, but you can do it." |
|
 |
||
|
|
|
|
||
|
|||||||||||||
|
Popular Tags | |
|||||||||||
|
|
|
|||||||||||
| Featured Testimonials | |||
|
|||
|
| Facts | |||
|
|||
|
|
Facebook comments: |
 |
 |
|
|
||||||||
 |
|
||||||||||
|
||||||||||
|
||||||||||
  |
||||||||||
|
||||||||||
|
||||||||||
|
||||||||||
|
||||||||||
|
||||||||||
|
||||||||||
|
||||||||||
